Tao Te KaChing
Workin' the cash register of the Great Tao

Vicodin, Depression, and Me...

Folks, it’s been 43 days today since my surgery on my left foot.  I am in a “boot”, I am on crutches, and I am miserable.

I am no longer in pain from my surgery, although up towards my little toe my foot tingles sharply (even stings?), which is no where near any of the surgical wounds, so maybe some nerves are repairing themselves or something.  My right foot is killing me simply because I’m having to put all my weight on it, and it is still flat, so…

But these really haven’t been reason to stay on any pain meds.  To tell the truth, I actually reduced drastically around week 3 to maybe 1 or 2 pills a day.  And that is where it has stayed.  I was thinking that perhaps depression stepped in because I was finally stopping all pain meds, like I read here, but I don’t think that’s all it.  Methinks it’s a combination of:

  • Difficulty sleeping since surgery
  • Exhaustion from using walker / crutches (don’t fool yourselves; walker is way harder than crutches; good for upper-body workout – it removed my man-boobs for sure)
  • Ongoing frustration with inability to do hardly anything for yourself

I know I’ll get over it and all.  Right now I just want to play with my son and sleep all day and night.  Work takes a ridiculously huge amount of effort to get into and get motivated about now.  The sun’s just over the horizon, though.  I can start officially weight-bearing on the foot next week.  In hindsight thus far, I have no idea how a person living alone could do this, especially the first week or two, simply because you’re so doped up and weary from the surgery.  I mean, just taking a crap took an unbearable, t-shirt-sweat-soaking 20+ minutes the first half-dozen times.  I know even P Diddy had to deal with it.  Regarding the pooping, all I can say is one word: Activia.  That stuff works.  Period.  I’ll be having that action when the right-foot comes around.

Anyway, just a brief whimper here.  Going back to napping on my recliner.